My life, and my parenting, is all about gratitude. Yes, we should be grateful for our lives, and our health, and the people we love.
To have all the broken pieces be back together again. The desperate desire to reverse time until it's the moment right before the bad thing happened. I know just how it feels to want something back that badly. She looked at the shards of glass, the bits of fake snow swimming in a pool of water on the living room floor, and broke down again. "I .back," she cried, her body shuddering. "I know you didn't mean to break it," I said into her sweet dark hair. I swallowed the I told you sos and the You need to be more carefuls on my lips. I pulled her into my lap and held her tight. The broken snow globe lay on the floor between us. She looked at me, afraid, waiting for my angry words, sorrow transforming her face into one I barely recognized. Where I stood at a crossroads of actions to choose. It was a really beautiful ring."Īnd then I had one of those moments-those what kind of mother do I want to be? moments. She had crawled into my lap that day, wrapped her skinny arms around my neck, and said " I'm sorry you lost your ring, Mommy. Something that I should have been more careful with. How many times had I told her to be careful? Shouldn't this be a teaching moment, a lesson in taking care of belongings? Shouldn't I just clean up the mess and let her mourn the result of her actions? Remind her that things are just things and tell her she should be lucky she's healthy with a roof over her head and plenty of other toys to play with?īut as she sobbed, my mind flashed back to another moment, just weeks ago, when I sobbed because I lost something precious to me. E was inconsolable, kneeling above it as though if she stayed there and cried hard enough, it would piece itself together and float back into her palm. I came down and there it was, her New York snow globe, in pieces on the floor. This morning, I heard a loud crash while I was upstairs getting dressed. That if she was too rough with her snow globe, it would break. I reminded her constantly to be careful with it. Sometimes, she carried it to my desk " So we can both love it, Mommy." Sometimes I'd find it in the kitchen next to her latest bunch of wildflowers. Sometimes E wanted it to live on her bookshelf. I've never told E that my soul lives forever in New York City.but sometimes she understands things way bigger than she should be able to just by looking at my face. She must have sensed how much I loved the snow globe too-a reminder of the city I love more than any other. " It's delicate," I whispered as she dipped it upside down again and again to watch the swirling flakes.
It had a pink base and inside, tiny snowflakes swirled around tiny New York things: the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, a yellow taxicab. But I knew exactly what I wanted, and sure enough the Hudson News next to my departure gate had a small display of snow globes next to the candy rack. My 48 hours in Manhattan had been an absolute whirlwind I'd barely had time to eat or sleep, let alone shop for souvenirs. I bought it in the airport, rushing to catch my flight. If snowbound or lost, there will be constant waves of ill luck breaking in upon you.When I came home from BlogHerWriters last October, I brought E a snow globe from New York. To dream of snowballing, denotes that you will have to struggle with dishonorable issues, and if your judgment is not well grounded, you will suffer defeat. To see the sun shining through landscapes of snow, foretells that you will conquer adverse fortune and possess yourself of power.įor a young woman to dream of sleighing, she will find much opposition to her choice of a lover, and her conduct will cause her much ill-favor. To see snow-capped mountains in the distance, warns you that your longings and ambitions will bring no worthy advancement. To see large, white snowflakes falling while looking through a window, foretells that you will have an angry interview with your sweetheart, and the estrangement will be aggravated by financial depression. To see it melt, your fears will turn into joy. To see dirty snow, foretells that your pride will be humbled, and you will seek reconciliation with some person whom you held in haughty contempt. If you eat snow, you will fail to realize ideals. There always follows more or less discouragement after this dream. To find yourself in a snow storm, denotes sorrow and disappointment in failure to enjoy some long-expected pleasure. To see snow in your dreams, denotes that while you have no real misfortune, there will be the appearance of illness, and unsatisfactory enterprises.
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